Gender Archives - The Queer KYD

January 3, 2026January 3, 2026

Coming Out to My Kids (or the Second longest Day of My Life)

I have a great fear of rejection I suppose. That might be enough to write a separate post all on its own, why that developed over the years. It might be a symptom of PTSD, or being queer, or my relationship with my father. Who knows what really. Maybe the fear of rejection comes from moving every year in grade school, and having to try to blend in and make friends.

I noticed it occurring this week again, as demonstrated by my inability to look at a post I made on Facebook. Just like the email sent to my kids 2 years ago, living in fear of what they would say.

November 24, 2025November 24, 2025

Food for Thought: A cry for help perhaps?

Sorry if I confused you with the title, but I haven’t switched over to the dark side of recipe blogging. That’s clever, calling food blogging the dark side, unless it’s like me and the recipe is for burnt toast.

Still the same boring old queer stuff, but the following conversation with Mrs. K really provided me with some food for thought, and god knows I don’t think enough.

Before you read all the gibberish it may help if we review some of the jargon used in the queer world. Sort of a brief of who’s what. Read on.

October 29, 2025November 9, 2025

Transition or Die

I first heard the phrase “transition or die” some thirty years ago, and found it rang so true for me. Partly because I’ve lived a good part of my life fighting and killing myself over being trans. All because of denial. Transition or Die. Not like you would keel over if you didn’t transition, just don’t ever expect to be content or complete. A life that could have been happier, better lived, more worthwhile if only I had accepted myself. Instead, a good part of my life was wasted. “Being wasted” is more like it.

No one chooses this path, no one says “hey I think I’ll be trans for the fun of it” as there is nothing fun about it. Or easy. Transitioning may mean the loss of a job, a career, and friends or family. Trying to bury one’s true identity because of social stigma. The world lacks understanding or knowledge of what it means to be a trans individual, because all they see is a one-sided dialogue from people who find us appalling.

It’s a horrible life. A slow and miserable death really.

September 2, 2025September 2, 2025

An Anniversary Party and No One Came

It was two years ago yesterday, September 1st, and I had a party. At least in my own mind, that was about all I could conjure up. A mental Happy Anniversary to me. Labor Day no less, everyone was grilling and having a party. I’ll pretend it was in my honour.

There wasn’t any fanfare or candles or cake with the cherry on top. I did ask Mrs. K to buy me a cupcake at the local bakery and as is her habit to save by buying in bulk she bought a half dozen. I only wanted one, still sticking to a diet that isn’t working.

July 25, 2025July 29, 2025

HRT: Personal Results and Current Medications

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) is a critical component for those desiring a more complete transition, basically replacing the hormones from your given gender with those of the opposite sex. I consider HRT to be the first major step for a transexual in transitioning, but going this route is something to be taken very seriously.

When I first looked into HRT and transitioning, there were conditions in place as prescribed in the DSM 3 that prevented me from going this route. DSM stands for Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The most current update is version 5. Although Gender Dysphoria is one of the mental disorders listed in the DSM, not all trans people suffer from GD.

July 1, 2025July 1, 2025

The Quest for Normalcy

I didn’t choose this life. Being trans that is. I was aware of being “different” at a very young age, but insisted on fighting it for years. Wasting my life trying to deny the fact I was queer.

Lady GaGa tries to normalize it by convincing “normal” folks that we’re simply born this way. I personally don’t agree with that 100%, at least not for everyone. I hold strongly to the belief that its nature and nurture combine to drive people toward this pathway.

June 19, 2025June 19, 2025

The Word Queer.

Some people just cringe when I say that word. “Queer”.

When I was growing up in the late 60’s and 70” it had a whole different connotation than it does now. Queer was often followed by “fag” or “faggot”. Then it was the fight or flight instinct that took over. I wasn’t much for fighting. I have several times in my life, just wasn’t much for it.

I’m surprised how the word has morphed over the decades, to where it stands for what its original intended use was. Queer simply means different. Odd, different… queer.

May 28, 2025July 23, 2025

HRT & ME: Cyproterone Acetate

Hormone Replacement Therapy and medications

As mentioned in an earlier post, my second attempt at transitioning to a point of contentment started in 2018. That was strictly getting myself in better shape, healthier. And happier. If that’s even possible. In the summer of 2018 I quit smoking for the umpteenth time, and lost 40 pounds. I had already quit drinking before my first attempt at transitioning in 2008, so this time it was a lot easier. Kinda.

I finally found a family doctor in 2019 who knew a ton about being trans, transitioning and hormone replacement therapy. He already had 11 trans patients, all at various levels and degrees of transitioning and some at varying stages of surgery. Not just young people, he dealt with a wide range of ages looking for a “cure”.

May 17, 2025May 24, 2025

The “Message”

If I only have one message in this journal, besides that of perseverance, it would simply be “Transition or die”. I put that in quotes because it’s not my original words of wisdom to claim authorship. I was first told those words of wisdom by Cassandra, in an America Online chat room called “Transexual Menace”.

I believe it was 1991 when I would sit up late at night and spend hours and hours going from one chat after another. All of America did the same at different times of the day, but in the middle of the night creatures like myself took to the chats, searching for others of a like mind. AOL was the easiest way to access this new phenomena called the Internet, just in its infancy for home use.