April 2026 - The Queer KYD

April 20, 2026April 20, 2026

“If You’re Having That Much Pain, Imagine How Bad it Really Is”

The title above is a quote from my daughter, who was responding to an email I had sent to her last Tuesday.

If you’ve read the previous post you’ll know how bad I was the Sunday night. All the bad actors were waging war at the same time. (One week later I can sit here at the dining room table and try to post. My new goal is to post at least once a week, which is pretty awful.) That Sunday night the pain had reached one of the highest I have ever felt. Ever. That’s a lot of disasters, accidents and stupid mistakes over the last 60 years, all causing major negative consequences. Broken bones, stitches, bruising, gashes, you name it -I’ve had it.

April 19, 2026April 20, 2026

Totally Irrelevant Dribble: Or How I can Kill Days Navel Gazing

Is that the right term? Navel gazing?

I believe it means that I’m doing absolutely nothing but sitting with my head down staring at my navel. Hours blown while my mind zooms in and out and back to where it started. Repeat.

In my case, just to be honest, I’m staring at a “navel” that exists in a million year old river rock that I stole from someone’s garden. A small slit that was once full of crystals, long eroded over the millenia.

Of course there’s a story behind this.

April 3, 2026April 3, 2026

An Indescribable Feeling of Joy

A couple of weeks ago I opened my eyes, looked at the iPhone on the coffee table and realized I had slept from 10:30 last night without waking. I was basically in the same position I started in, on the couch and curled up in a semi-fetal position. 7:30 in the morning, with hints of sun coming through the front window.

Within 30 seconds of waking, I also realized that the overwhelming nausea I had felt for the last 6 days was gone completely. My pain level that morning was the lowest it had been in several weeks. The normal feeling of aching in every joint was gone, maybe not completely, but enough my mind was not attuned to it. For once pain was not a constant distraction.