April 2025 - The Queer KYD

April 15, 2025June 19, 2025

My day, and every day thereafter

I have taken a long hiatus from putting my thoughts down.

The physical self has commanded all my attention. Unfortunately.

But I’ve survived the winter, which I had serious doubts about. I thought it would be my last though, seriously. The question being one of strength. Did I have the ability to rebound from the chronic pain and dark depression last Fall? Going into Winter in such bad shape? A time when the bitter cold and sunless skies do the most damage.

April 9, 2025May 22, 2025

A FLUID SEXUAL IDENTITY

This is a very difficult subject for me to write about. But it’s an important part of the transition journey.

As I’ve written elsewhere on my stance on Sex vs. Sexual Identity vs. Gender. I believe there are only 3 types of Sexual Orientation (SO); homesexual, heterosexual or bi-sexual. Period. Anything outside of that can be considered fetishism. But let’s use the nicer terms of gay, bi and straight, shall we?

My opinion, while respecting that everyone may not see it as I do.

April 7, 2025May 22, 2025

The Story

If ever a song hit home, this one does. I’m finding we tend not to look for or listen to other people’s stories, although we all have them. Stories about life, resilience and moving on. But we make judgement calls without knowing where the person has been.

The Story

Lyrics by Phil Hanseroth

April 4, 2025October 20, 2025

The Nightmare

I refer to “The Nightmare” throughout my discussions on PTSD. The whole insomnia, pain and depression triangle of evil are fueled by each other, a synergistic effect where 1+1+1 = 5, not 3. The symptoms of one being the result or cause of the other. Like nightmares, or night sweats, or flashbacks.

Insomnia has plagued me for a long time, but in the last 5 years has taken on a whole life of its own. My physical pain has joined forces with the mental anguish. The old cure for lack of sleep is a simple night of drinking heavily. But everyone knows a good night’s sleep from being drunk isn’t a good night’s sleep at all.

April 1, 2025May 22, 2025

Abilify, personal experience

I’m going to give my opinion and views on the various types of drug treatments I’ve been prescribed in order to deal with PTSD and depression. In actuality, the drugs have all been prescribed for depression only. Can you suffer from PTSD without depression? Good question, but in my case the answer is no.

In no way shape or form do the doses apply to the reader or anyone else. Since they are all prescribed you need to work with a doctor. I’m just writing on how they affected my journey.