I need to quit watching the news. More specifically the news from the grand country that gave birth to democracy. Although I reside in Canada, I’m still a citizen of the U.S., so watching CNN is a favorite (or used to be a favorite) pastime.
I can’t believe that in today’s turmoil that the subject of trans people in high school sports, more so transwomen than transmen, is even worth more than a five minute blurb in the news.
Let’s move on already.
Is either of those topics – trans people in sports and public bathrooms – something that deserves a major debate, let alone being part of a political platform? Seems so, as one political party uses these points to raise the red-flag and rally the troops.
The whole issue seems to be focused on one transwomen, still in highschool, that wants to be on the girls team. One individual. I can’t even tell you what sport is involved. If memory serves me correctly it’s track and field, but dont hold me to that.
So we should base all our opinions and criticism of the entire trans population on this? How many people actually know this person? Or know any transfolk personally? Out of the 100, or 1,000, or 10,000 people that you know, how many queerfolk do you deal with? Yet the powers to be still want us to form our entire biased opinion on this one individual.
Really, does anyone care?
I wonder if CNN, or any news organization, has gone out and surveyed a hundred or a thousand dyed in the wool transfolks, like myself. Have they done their due diligence in seeking queerfolks opinion on whether a teenage transwoman (is transgirl a word?) should have the god-given right to play on a girls team?
Personally, I would vote no, I don’t believe a trans person should play on a cis-. At least not at this point of time in the evolution of mankind. Or transkind. I would also be so bold to guess that 80% of transfolk would answer the question the same, not much different than the general public. “No, it just isn’t right.”
Why, you might ask, would I be against more rights for transfolk? Because that’s just it, it’s a matter of rights.
No matter the treatment, it’s still a fact that this person was born with a chromosomal makeup that cannot be changed, even with the use of whatever hormone treatments or surgeries that are available today. It’s just a fact of life, and one that we will never get over.
I have seen the direct effect of the rubberband theory in place. Simple physics, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Or something like that. The more we stand up and raise the rainbow flag, stating we’re special, the more we are going to see push back from our biggest opponents.
I firmly believe we should look for small gains, taking our direction from the Gay Rights movement. We should be seeking the right to healthcare, the right to marry, and the right to work. Those should be the key focus, not the right to play sports on the team of your choice.
Basically her “cause” isn’t worth the backlash it’s causing. Just my opinion folks, don’t crucify me for having one.
In an ideal world there would be a whole league dedicated to trans people entirely, but let’s face facts, there just isn’t a large enough population of transgender people to make this happen.
Remember I’m not talking about being gender fluid, or a person’s right of expression. I’ve always said there are an equal number of gender expressions to the general population. You can look back a hundred years and have seen a major shift in social norms, starting with something simple as women wearing pants. Which is ridiculous in itself. Think about it, which sexual identity should be wearing dresses anyway? Considering the physical attributes between the legs it makes a ton more sense if men wore dresses with more freedom of movement.
You get the point I hope. If 1 person in 10,000 is truly transgendered, you don’t have enough queer folk to fill a 2 man bowling team in each state.
Public washrooms. The issue of public washrooms, and that of a transwoman or transman using the restroom of their chosen gender? Again, a topic that doesn’t deserve any focus.
There has been a gradual change though, where more gender independant facilities are popping up everyday. It’s more unusual not to find a restroom dedicated to handicapped or gender fluid folks like myself.
It’s also one issue I can be a little more vocal on, but only from my standpoint as an individual with a bad history around bathrooms. I have a bit more personal involvement. I’m noticing more and more places including restrooms that are more gender neutral, as they well should be.
I don’t expect the world to change to meet the needs of one person though. Personally I hate using a men’s room, primarily because it might trigger a flashback, and I will use the handicapped or gender neutral restroom if one is available. If not, I’ll use a stall in the men’s room. You have to remember I might be trans, but I’m also not transitioning in the manner of my outward appearance. I would look like John Wayne in drag, and certainly don’t want to leave that impression. I would be completely out of place in a woman’s restroom, and realize that.
People can be understanding though. Since my surgery and coming out to more and more people, I have yet to meet any individual who has not accepted me for who I am. If there have been negative reactions I haven’t seen it. In fact nearly everyone I’ve encountered has gone out of their way to make me feel comfortable.
Here’s a perfect example.
I had treated myself to a staycation several winters ago, going downtown to spend 3 nights at a luxury hotel. It was supposed to be three nights, the first time I had been away from home for the past 5 years. The Four Seasons Hotel in Toronto, to be specific. Part of this mini-staycation included a spa day of course. A massage, a warming wrap, a facial, all ending with a mani-pedi. Time to pamper myself a little. Without the dogs.
So spa day was day one, but when arriving I quickly found out the only way to get back to the treatment areas was by going through either the women’s or the men’s area made up of gender assigned lockers, showers, and toilets , including the little lounge between treatments. You know, with the lemon water or oolong tea, and stale snack mix.
Nothing co-ed to speak of.
I was way too uncomfortable to use the men’s locker room, especially being post-op. There was no way I was going to get undressed in front of a group of men. I explained my situation to the young women at the desk, about being a post-op transwoman and was simply going to cancel the entire day.
To my surprise they were both very understanding, and very accommodating. They simply waited until the women’s locker area was empty, and basically stood guard at the door until I finished changing into the robe they provided. Once you were in the spa areas everyone was wearing a bathrobe, and gender wasn’t so much of an issue, but they were nice enough to park me in the women’s lounge until my massage therapist came to get me.
It did raise a few eyebrows from the few women waiting there, and although I felt a little out of place, it was a heck of a lot better than having to go through the men’s locker room.
Between treatments the attendant led me back to the same women’s lounge, where I sat patiently sipping tea.
“Excuse me, but aren’t you in the wrong place?” One younger woman asked.
“They are just trying their best to take care of me I suppose, being a transwoman who just recently went through gender-affirming surgery.” I used that term instead of the one I prefer, which is sex reassignment surgery, thinking “gender-affirming” was a bit more politically correct.
“Oh, that’s cool.” was her response. “I hope you get Marianne for your massage, she’s wonderful.”
That was that. All my worries and fears were met with acceptance and understanding. It’s a shame all my experiences aren’t all this nice.
So there’s my two cents on trans-sports and public washrooms. I’m finding that public washroom’s, no matter the gender, can be disgusting in general. You can see that we haven’t evolved that far from our chimpanzee cousins.
And for the one transgirl wanting to play on the girls team? Take one for the rest of us…and give it up for now.