I was going to title this “Too sleep or not to sleep…” but I think it’s been taken. Kinda sorta.
Another day in the life, boring trivia. I keep telling myself that, even if I am lying in bed in the middle of the afternoon. If I write a little it’s being somewhat productive. Which is humorous in itself, as this blog does nothing more than make me feel like I’m doing something. That’s a lie to myself though. There’s a term for thinking you’re productive while doing nothing, besides the ones that aren’t clean enough to print.
So I’m propped up on pillows, a heating pad warming my backside, and trying to write.
I don’t know why I feel the need to do something productive. When you’re retired, hopefully there isn’t the need to be productive to pay the bills. As long as you can make ends meet with the style of life you can enjoy, then why bother?
I started working part-time when I was 14, the same year I started drinking. Coincidence? Probably. I wanted to earn some money besides mowing the neighbors lawn or washing Mrs. Slope’s big old boat of a Lincoln. I detailed her car whenever she called, inside and out. 3 hours of work for a whopping $20, a lot of dough back then. I wanted a car when I turned 16, the legal age in the great state of Kansas.
After dropping out of college when I was 20, it was full-time working and after 47 years of making money for someone else, here I sit in too much pain to do much of nothing. Retiring isn’t the end of life by any means, but when you have bad days or worse days makes it tough to look forward to anything.
I suppose looking at productivity at my age means doing as much as you can to fill your life with those things that make you happy. That you get some enjoyment out of what you do, and quit doing the things you don’t enjoy as much.
I managed a very solid night’s sleep for the first time in a week, and when I got up this morning at 6:30 the pain wasn’t bad. Down to a 5 on the pain scale. Still ever present, top of mind, but the pain was low enough I could function.
The last 3 days my sleep was interrupted by one or both of the dogs waking up to a neighborhood raccoon on our deck. They bolt downstairs to wake me to open the back door, both with back hair up in full blown attack mode. Blu would attack, Lucy would stay 5 feet back and cheer him on.
Let me back up and explain why they have to jump off the bed to wake me.
We all go to bed together as a family, but come 10:00 or 11:00 every night I crawl downstairs to sleep on the couch. Why? It has the right amount of give for my back and hips, soft by not overly so for me to press my spine into the back cushions.
There’s many nights when I’ll fall asleep with my fist pressed into my lower back, using the cushions for added pressure. If I press certain vertebrae the amount of constant nerve pain diminishes.
Lucy will usually go down stairs with me for some or most of the night. She gets off and on the master bed whenever she wants ever since I built a set of oak stairs for her to use. Blu on the other hand has to be picked up to get on the bed, but is more than happy to go down 3 steps on his own.
Luckily either the raccoon never showed or the hounds were too tired to get up and so I slept last night. A sound 8 hours with only one interruption to pee and swig some lukewarm tea I left sitting on the counter.
As I’m writing this I realize today wasn’t too bad overall, so why should I be so hard on myself.
Even though I woke up really nauseated, I managed to make it through the day relatively unscathed.
It’s only 2:30 on a nice sunny day, still time to write a little and wonder what it’s all about, like normal. Of course Blu is laying up against me as always.
“So hey, Kyd, you did accomplish one thing today, you made the dog happy.”
Both dogs actually, when I think about it.
They both had a good walk this morning and were quite happy about that. It wasn’t a marathon, Lucy gets hot pretty quick, and when her tongue curls up it’s time to head back. She’s done, and needs a drink. Think it was 4 or 5 blocks! Wow.
Once they’d settled down by cooling off on the hardwood they both had a good brushing out on the deck, followed by a little vitamin E oil on some dry patches. Lucy loves it, Blu not so much.
So in essence 3 things, stretching it a bit.
Hold on…
I managed to fertilize the shrubs and flowers out front, that’s something anyway. Watering the plants and pots and planter boxes full of herbs, eggplant, or strawberries counts for something. One more chore. Or can I divide that in two?
Then before crawling up to bed this afternoon, I sat down at the piano and finished writing a piece I’ve been working on the last couple of weeks. Once I start playing, time becomes irrelevant, and an hour and a half goes by like falling water. I ran through 10 – 12 songs once or twice each, woven together in ways only my mind knows.
Is playing piano a waste of time or a worthless endeavor? Even though most of my songs are full of sadness, it’s when I’m happiest. The distraction to beat all distractions I suppose.
So all in all nothing to be ashamed of, especially with my health. Got a little bit done.
Guess I forgot to eat today.
One more for the list! I’m an overachiever.
Oh, and finished a post.
“C’mon Blu, let’s go eat.”