A LONG WAY FROM HOME
I need to figure this one out, what triggered this positive turn of events. If doing a small thing that you haven’t in ages can be deemed positive.
Since 1988 or so I have been doing the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle. Every weekend. I’ve described this in more detail in a blog post, but we (my wife) went to no ends to find the NYT no matter the location.
Continue reading “A glimmer of hope?”I was out today walking the two hounds from hell around the neighborhood here as I try to do every morning. But there’s a lot of factors as to whether they will get a walk. First and foremost is if I’m able to walk, not in too much pain basically.
Then there’s several other factors involved, like is it raining, is it too hot, is it too cold and do the two hounds from hell really feel like it. Being French Bulldogs and short snouted they have difficulty breathing.
Continue reading “The Reverend “So this is the easiest way for me to demonstrate the effect of PTSD on me, and which of the criteria I have experienced.
My qualifications so to speak.
If you’ve taken the time to read through each description, you need to tick X amount of boxes for each of the criteria listed below. Some criteria require one exhibited attribute, some two or more.
Continue reading “PTSD and Me”I was starting to beat myself up yesterday. Doubting myself, wondering where I was going, why I was trying so hard.
I was able to keep somewhat calm by reminding myself I have a mental illness. And that no one expects me to be strong through this except myself. “Show yourself some grace”.
Trying to put the pain and health issues on a shelf of its own, knowing it’s there, but trying to keep my focus elsewhere.
Continue reading “Slipping backward”Unless I need to be downtown, most of my days start off slow, gain a little momentum, then fizzle out by 4:00pm. By slow, if I’m out of the shower by 9:30 I’m doing good.
The first dose of hydromorphone starts the day, hormones and a pill to keep all the other pills from destroying my stomach. The hydromorphone numbs the pain enough to get a hot shower, walk and feed the dogs, maybe remember to eat, then run errands.
Unless I’m nauseated from kidney stones that is, then the day is a write off. The stones are just starting. It just builds up for months as they get bigger I guess.
Continue reading “Some Days are Overwhelming, Some are Wondrous”I’ll try to write what I can before passing out from being completely and utterly exhausted. It has been a long day to start with, no sleep, getting the dogs walked and fed, worrying. Worrying about everything as always.
Dr. G, who must have surmised who I was at registration, introduced himself and led me to this little room. There were 3 comfy chairs and a small table under a large window with nothing to see really except the side of the building next door.
Continue reading “HELP IS ON THE WAY! Part 2.”I received a phone call two days ago concerning a cancellation at a specialty clinic downtown. They asked if I could be there on Thursday, at 12:00 pm.
But first let me backup a sec.
This clinic caters to the general health needs of gay men and also their mental health needs with doctors of psychiatry on staff. For mental health issues they also include all of the Queer community, thank god, or we would be left out in the cold.
Continue reading “HELP IS ON THE WAY!”