I was out today walking the two hounds from hell around the neighborhood here as I try to do every morning. But there’s a lot of factors as to whether they will get a walk. First and foremost is if I’m able to walk, not in too much pain basically.
Then there’s several other factors involved, like is it raining, is it too hot, is it too cold and do the two hounds from hell really feel like it. Being French Bulldogs and short snouted they have difficulty breathing.
They pant…a lot. They snore…constantly. And drool more than the other two combined. Especially in warmer weather. They don’t really like the heat and can’t be out in it for that long. And they both hate getting wet.
But it was a nice morning, so we decided to go for a stroll. Half a block away we always stop in the little church’s side yard because there’s two big trees and a lot of squirrels. The dog’s enemy #1.
I’ve known Reverend Todd for probably 20 years now, and when he’s out and about we always say hello and chat a minute about the weather or some other trivial nonsense. He’s quite pleasant, soft spoken and always friendly.
Reverend Todd is the preacher at the little Baptist Church on the corner. It’s not quite the same as a Southern Baptist church I’m used to in the States, but it still draws quite a crowd. There’s lots of singing and greeting and hugging out front when people both arrive and when they leave.
I think since I’ve been suffering from some rather severe downs and a major case of loneliness, this morning I asked him If the church was open to and accepting of queer folk like myself.
“Funny you should ask” he said, “As I just gave a sermon last Sunday on a very similar subject. The sermon focused on Abraham”. He went on to explain that although Abraham had sinned several times throughout his life, he had accepted God as his savior and put his faith in God.
The reverend went on to tell me the whole story of Abraham and the pharaoh and his wife Sarah blah blah blah and at the end asked if I had gotten my answer.
I politely replied that I had, bid him good day and we went on our way.
To be honest I walked away from that conversation a little perplexed. What I came away with was the mention of being queer immediately put me down as sinning.
Only because I’m queer?
I realize we are probably all sinners in God’s eyes, but if all we have to do is believe and have faith we can keep on sinning?
Being queer is not sinning nor is it sinful, and now the whole conversation left me more depressed and more alone than when it began.
One day I’ll have to thank him for reaffirming my complete lack of faith and believing in a higher power.