The post below with the link to the NHS (National Health Services UK) is a great introduction to Body Dysmorphic Disorder.
As a transexual woman this is highly evident in the torture I go through every morning in the decision of what to wear.
This morning I had plans to work on my website, organize my paperwork…hahaha, as if…and catch up a little.
Be effing productive for once.
Then kill 4 hours going downtown to my favourite doc, the one with the steroids and morphine.
But…
I try on one combination involving a pair of these new sweat pants, that almost pass for regular pants you know.. Too tight, too casual. Jeans it is.
A t-shirt to hide my gut a little, and a sweatshirt. Too frumpy, not hip, too tight.
Another sweater..meh
A cardigan and jeans…nope look like a frumpy old man…a grandpa. Shoot me now.
A nice woman’s sweater…arms too short. not many women’s clothes designers that design a 35″ sleeve.
And on it goes for a good 30-40 minutes, settling on the same old black hoodie with the pocket up front for smokes and a few other sundries. One pair of the two I own that are broken in.
But nothing will ever look right, nothing will ever make me feel right. Is it a losing battle? At this stage and the ravages of testosterone I should quit trying.
Wrong body.
I’m surprised and somewhat disappointed that Gender Dysphoria isn’t linked more to BDD or vice versus. And the same with PTSD.
It isn’t sacred ground.
So now I’ve wasted 30 minutes trying on clothes, and 30 minutes writing a post.
And late for the doctor.
Be good
The Queer Kid from Kansas