If I stay focused, I deliver the same message to myself. That message is a simple reminder really. To give myself a little grace, as one of my best friends puts it, a little grace. Let the past be what it was, and let it lie.
I’m holding a 7 year old to blame for a bad life, the guilt and shame I built up to justify another person’s evil. I need to ask that 7 year old to forgive me for doing so, my 7 year old self I held responsible for the torment. Holding him to blame for what happened in changing my course. Upending.
If only…
I can’t believe I have held myself, a young child responsible for what befell me years ago. Decades ago.
I need to put the blame where it should be, and it certainly wasn’t the fault of a 7 year old child.
Hopefully I can move forward with some sort of peace of mind.
Look in the mirror, and love who and what you see. Try anyway.
If others love you, can it be that hard?
What keeps pulling me the other way?